Finding summer clothes that fit women and girls can be a struggle, as one PEI mom recently found out.
Carrie and her best friend went on a shopping trip from PEI to Moncton to find clothes for herself and her daughters. The first mission was to find the shorts.
But after one look at them, Carrie realized she would surely be looking at her kids in her new “mommy shorts,” which were ripped, frayed, and sassy jeans.
“How can they label these jeans and shorts as mom jeans? It was mind-blowing, to be honest,” she says.
Then to the bathing suits.
Here, Carrie saw a display of six mannequins, and only one didn’t have half her skirt hanging off.
“I wouldn’t want my teenagers and young teenagers wearing this in public,” she says.
“How does a parent tell a child to wear a modest bathing suit when he is on display in a large shopping mall?”
Carrie had never been more disgusted than she was with her latest shopping adventure. It’s not the stores’ fault, she says, as they simply carry the latest styles. But it disappoints him when he sees cheeky jeans, semi-knit styles and Playboy clothing themes.
Then there are the “guy” t-shirts that make statements like “future leader” and those girls that say “I’m going to marry rich.”
All she’s looking for is good quality, reasonably priced clothes and swimwear that covers your bottom.
At first, Carrie couldn’t understand why her teenage daughter liked to get her T-shirts and sweaters from the men’s section, but now she does.
Inconsistent proportions are another problem. Even for herself, she says that when she holds a size 12, 14 or 16 next to each other, they are exactly the same.
Even her daughters notice this and are aware of the size on the label. For example, she says, her youngest daughter can still fit into a child’s size too large, but doesn’t want to be seen wearing something with an XL on the label. So instead, she shops in the extra small women’s section.
“So, what exactly is fashion teaching our kids?” Carrie asks desperately.
‘Difficult’ to meet basic requirements
Céline White of Charlottetown also feels frustrated when shopping for her daughter.
“I find it hard to find clothing that they like, that covers their body properly, especially for warmth — we live in Canada, after all — and it lasts as many crazy times as they go through the wash. All while trying not to pay a fortune for them,” she says.
She also prefers to shop locally because she’s been burned so many times with online sizing.
White says the quality of the clothes is so poor that she can’t pass them from one girl to another.
“I never realized before how frustrated I really am about it,” she says.
With an aversion to waste, White now realizes what she can salvage from her daughter’s clothes. She has learned to adapt by teaching herself to sew. Now she can sew stitches – not pretty, as she calls it, but functional.
“I find it difficult to find clothing that they like, that covers their body, especially for warmth – we live in Canada after all.”
– Celine White
Get creative
Candance Dumville, of Charlottetown, PEI, also feels frustrated with the tween and teen girl clothing industry.
However, she has come to the conclusion that she will never change. So, it has also adapted.
“I take my daughter’s leggings and jeans that she’s been wearing all year and cut them into shorts that are comfortable for her and what I think is appropriate to dress up or to school,” she says.
Dumville’s daughter is tall and quite thin, so her pants still fit her waist, but are short in length. Plus, it’s quite strong in the knees of her pants, so it’s a perfect opportunity to cut a little above the knees, and then she has shorts for summer.
Although she’s not great at sewing, it doesn’t take long to sew the legs where they’ve been cut so they don’t fray.
It’s also a good solution for families who don’t have enough income to keep buying new clothes, Dumville adds.
Carrie, who has been a single mom for most of her 26 years as a parent, has also gotten creative with clothing to save money and find styles she says fit best.
For example, she suggests looking in clearance sections, waiting for sales and shopping thrift stores.
For basic t-shirts, Carrie suggests buying them at Michaels or Dollarama and then picking up tie kits, markers, diluted bleach spray, and letting the kids get creative and decorate their own. Make the blouses to wear under shorter shirts or buy a bigger blouse and gather it at the thigh with nice shirts.
When the pants get too short, Carrie suggests turning them into capris, or even adding some crochet lace to the bottom. She also suggests buying boys’ sweatpants or jeans at thrift stores and cutting them into shorts.
‘Compliance’ vs ‘Policing’
Despite the frustrations parents may feel with the fashion industry aimed at teen and teenage girls, many parents argue that we should be careful not to police girls’ bodies. There is a fine line of “appropriateness” versus “policing,” one mother suggested.
“Do you want to find longer shorts because that’s really the style you prefer, or do you think and feel that the current style is unacceptable for some reason?”
Another thing to consider is what “school appropriate” clothing means for those early September days or hot June days. Many parents feel that the only dress code currently enforced is to not wear clothing with hate speech on it.
Young teens struggle so much with body image, and the idea that their clothing should be appropriate only adds to the complicated relationship they have with their bodies.
“Clothing should be a personal choice; if you’re comfortable in it, wear it,” says one passionate mother.
Jenny Wright, an activist, educator and counselor working between Halifax, NS and St. different people who are also targeted by dress codes. She points out that this attitude simply does not apply to boys and men.
“The constant surveillance and control over girls’ bodies allows their bodies, or parts of their bodies, to be objectified, sending the message that they can and should be treated as sexualized objects,” says Wright. “When girls are objectified and sexualized, then men learn that they have a right to their bodies.”
Instead, Wright says that as a society we need to be very clear that girls are not responsible for how boys view them and that their clothing choices are not responsible for boys’ inability to concentrate or learn.
Girls’ and women’s bodies are never an invitation to harassment, sexual abuse and unwanted scrutiny, she adds.
