Sad content is haunting my digital life.

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I am mostly a visual thinker, and ideas are presented as scenes in the theater of my mind. With many supportive family members, friends, and colleagues asking how I was doing, I found myself over the edge, transfixed by an all-knowing fog. I’m on the edge there, with my parents and sisters, looking for a way down. There is no sound or urgency in the picture and I am waiting for him to swallow me. I’m looking for shapes and navigational clues, but it’s so huge and gray and limitless.

I wanted to take that mist and put it under a microscope. From the app on my iPhone, I started tracking the stages of grief, and books and academic research while waiting for coffee or watching Netflix. how does he feel How do I manage it?

Intentionally and unknowingly, I began consuming Instagram videos, various news feeds, and Twitter testimonials of people’s experiences of grief and tragedy. It was as if the Internet had secretly joined my compulsion and started to indulge my worst nightmares; The algorithms were priests offering confessions and communion.

Yet with every search and click, I unwittingly created a sticky web of digital grief. Ultimately, it is impossible to indulge myself. My sad digital life is preserved in amber by dangerous personal algorithms that carefully monitor mental stress and offer me more cancer and loss.

I got out – finally. But why is it so hard to unsubscribe and opt out of content we don’t want, even if it’s harmful to us?

I’m well aware of the power of algorithms—I’ve written about the mental-health impact of Instagram filters, Big Tech’s obsession with engagement, and the weird ways advertisers target specific audiences. But in my panic and search, I initially felt that my algorithms were a force for good. (Yes, I’m calling them “my” algorithms, because while I realize that the code is uniform, the results are very personal and they feel that way. mine.) seemed to work. with It made me feel less alone and more resourceful, helping me find stories of people overcoming tragedy.

In my panic and search, I initially felt that my algorithms were a force for good. They seemed to work. with Me, it makes me feel less alone and more capable.

In fact, I’ve been experiencing the effects of the ad-driven Internet up close and personal, which Ethan Zuckerman, a prominent Internet ethicist and professor of public policy, information and communication at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, famously called “the original sin of the Internet” in 2014. Atlantic A piece. In his story, he explained an advertising model that brings revenue to content sites that are highly equipped to target the right audience at the right time and volume. This, he writes, “requires going deeper into the world of surveillance.” This incentive structure is now known as “surveillance capitalism.”

Understanding how to maximize each user’s engagement on the platform is the formula for revenue, and the basis for the current web economic model.

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